Using less offensive names for crimes

29 thoughts on “Using less offensive names for crimes”

1. You did a fine job!! I still like these words applied to all those wonderful new names for crime: Your going to jail.. 🙂

2. It isn't shoplifting, its just product displacement!

3. Arson is now crime brûlée.

4. Why not a guy runs down over 40 People in Wisconsin (my home state) and there calling it a crash. 5 years ago it would be vehicular manslaughter, but now it's just a crash…I'm so confused.

5. Bank robbery: wealth redistribution

6. Why do these sound like phrases George Carlin would say?

7. assault & battery unrequested wrestling match

8. Well Mike if the Democrats haven't thought of it before, they sure have now.

9. It isn’t arson, but a home warming gift. 😝

10. Domestic Violence: deli manager

11. Assault: Overly enthusiastic conversation. Robbery: Involuntary Asset Sharing. Car Jacking: Spontaneous Ride Sharing

12. Theft = Redistribution of wealth
    Suicide = Late life abortion
    Assisted Suicide = Requested late life abortion
    Man Slaughter = Improvised late life abortion
    Vandalism = Improvised art development
    Grape = Single party consensual sex
    Illegal Firearm = Undocumented crowd control device
    Blackmail = Requested wealth redistribution by promise of withholding personal information
    Rioting = Peacefully protesting with undocumented crowd control devices
    Illegal Immigration = Undocumented Travel
    Smuggling = The importation/exportation of undocumented goods or re-enacting the role of Han Solo from Star Wars
    Hate Crime (if you are not white in appearance) = A misunderstanding
    Mutilation = Improvised body art

    How am I going so far?

13. Robbery: 5 finger discount sales
    Adultery: entanglements

14. Riot=Pop-up block party

15. Criminals can be an offensive term refer to them as Morally Challenged, Earth is the melting pot of the universe.

16. Rape – rough sex

17. Dwai , is now as with alien cone head pursuit of the Orange Ice Cream bar

18. Illegal gambling is obviously surprise mechanics.

19. Disliked because of your FUCKING hate.

20. Housewarming for arson

21. Undocumented Float

22. What is RAPE now? Human Body Shaking, just VIGOROUSLY? 🤣😂🤣😂

23. Didn't get a notification for this video.

24. genocide = righteous equity
    high treason = the global greater good
    high treason with genocide = righteous equity for the global greater good

    This is so terrible that I’m thinking about not pressing that submit bu…..

25. Shoplifting: BLM riot

    Money Laundering: wealth washing

    Stalking: secret admirer

26. Those are not crimes. Everything short of a death are merely "equity adjustments".

27. Can I just say that I hate leftists? Because we all know this stupidity didn't come from anyone else.

28. I'd rename jaywalking "trail blazing".

29. I think there’s an idiom about calling a spade a spade.

    Then there’s 1984

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